Women are capable of anything. They have become doctors, lawyers, and have raised families by themselves. However, in many parts of the world they are still seen as second class citizens. Ama Ata Aidoo’s No Sweetness Here is set in Ghana, and her short stories reveal the immense influence Africa’s patriarchal structure has on women, as they often demonstrate how women base their whole sense of self around the males in their lives.
In “Gender and Society,” Kandiyoti states that the reason why women are willing to follow gendered structures is because of “patriarchal bargains which offer women greater advantages than they perceive can be achieved by challenging the prevailing order” (qtd. in Sharp 281), and I would add that the true crime in all this is that women are willing to partake in these patriarchal bargains while in actuality having the skill and potential to lead a successful life outside of the prevailing order. Unfortunately, at times women cannot see their potential as society overwhelms them with the notion that they need men or that they cannot lead a fulfilling life without them. Therefore, it is hard for women to find their self worth or even seek a life outside of this structure as they do not know that there is anything else out there. In addition, if women by some fortunate chance are able to lead a life without the assistance of men, society’s constant criticism makes it hard to do so by negatively characterizing these independent women as immoral individuals causing many capable women to hesitate in leading a life without men.
Aidoo’s “Two Sisters,” follows the lives of two sisters, Connie and Mercy, whose lives surround and depend whole-heartedly on men, more specifically on their lovers. Though they are sisters, Connie and Mercy have very different viewpoints on life. Connie has taken up the life that society has deemed fit as she is an attentive wife and mother, while Mercy has taken up the single life not really looking for love but more so a man who will provide her a better life.
Though Mercy’s lifestyle does not seem like something problematic by American standards, Andrea Cornwall author of “Spending Power: Love, Money, and the Reconfiguration of Gender Relation in Ado-Odo, South Western Nigeria” states that in Africa her lifestyle is seen as a real difficult problem and women who choose to be with men for their money are portrayed by the media to be, “wayward, troublesome, and avaricious: women who are out for what they can get” (963). The reason for this staunch criticism is because in Africa, young adult women are not given the opportunity to explore their sexuality and are not allowed to have a phase where they can discover who they are as individuals. African women are often held on a pedestal and are not permitted to be anything but what men define a virtuous woman to be.
However, this constricting definition of what a respectable woman should act like is very hypocritical, as the men in Connie and Mercy’s society are allowed to be with as many women as they want. In fact, one of Connie’s greatest troubles is keeping her husband faithful as he is constantly running after different women “James is running after a new girl” (90). Although, she would probably be highly criticized if she even looked at a man in a desirous way, Connie has to look the other way while he has his affairs. Why is it that the women are the only ones under the microscope? Society promotes the idea that if women find a man that everything will fall into place and that through their man their lives would be complete. Therefore, these young women like Mercy are finding men that are providing them with all the material possessions that they want, yet society, men especially, are not happy because they are not doing so in the specific way that they want them to.
In addition, this life that society is endorsing in which women get married, have children, and live a life of fidelity is for the most part not giving women what they truly want. Initially, Mercy was following the status quo of dating respectable men and working as a secretary, however, that life was not cutting it for her, “ It’s just that I am sick of everything. The office, living with you and your husband. I want a husband of my own, children” (89). The status quo was not getting her anywhere. Therefore, what could she do as she has society telling her that she has to become a wife and have children, but then society due to the offerings they have for women in terms of occupation and the rules they have in regards to where a single woman can appropriately live has trapped her? Then after all is said and done they criticize her for seeking relationships with older richer gentlemen because it is seen as something bad.
Although, Mercy could take up the life that society deems as morally correct she chooses not to seeing how utterly miserable it has made her sister. Connie lives with a man who she thinks she is madly in love with; however, real love is not so cruel. James, her husband, is a very inconsiderate man, demonstrated when he has to confront her one day because she is so upset about her sister’s choices that she is brought to tears “ He hates tears, for like so many men, he knows it is one of the most potent in women’s bitchy and inexhaustible arsenal” (96). Instead of thoughts of concern he has thoughts of annoyance. He does not care about how she feels but more so how aggravating it is that she is crying. Connie has to deal with such insensitivity day in and day out, not to mention the added dilemma of his numerous infidelities. Who could be happy with such a life? Yet, ironically this is the life society deems morally correct.
In addition, this life that society is endorsing in which women get married, have children, and live a life of fidelity is for the most part not giving women what they truly want. Initially, Mercy was following the status quo of dating respectable men and working as a secretary, however, that life was not cutting it for her, “ It’s just that I am sick of everything. The office, living with you and your husband. I want a husband of my own, children” (89). The status quo was not getting her anywhere. Therefore, what could she do as she has society telling her that she has to become a wife and have children, but then society due to the offerings they have for women in terms of occupation and the rules they have in regards to where a single woman can appropriately live has trapped her? Then after all is said and done they criticize her for seeking relationships with older richer gentlemen because it is seen as something bad.
Although, Mercy could take up the life that society deems as morally correct she chooses not to seeing how utterly miserable it has made her sister. Connie lives with a man who she thinks she is madly in love with; however, real love is not so cruel. James, her husband, is a very inconsiderate man, demonstrated when he has to confront her one day because she is so upset about her sister’s choices that she is brought to tears “ He hates tears, for like so many men, he knows it is one of the most potent in women’s bitchy and inexhaustible arsenal” (96). Instead of thoughts of concern he has thoughts of annoyance. He does not care about how she feels but more so how aggravating it is that she is crying. Connie has to deal with such insensitivity day in and day out, not to mention the added dilemma of his numerous infidelities. Who could be happy with such a life? Yet, ironically this is the life society deems morally correct.
Much like Connie and Mercy, in “Something to Talk About on the way to the Funeral” Auntie Araba suffers immensely with trying to follow what society deems right in respect to her being a woman and relying on men. Throughout her life, Auntie Araba is dealt with numerous unfortunate circumstances, yet she carries herself with such class redefining what it means to be a courageous woman. Unfortunately, her downfall comes as she continually tries to follow society’s patriarchal structure by seeking happiness through men, most importantly her son.
Auntie Araba’s disappointing experiences with men start early on. In the early stages of teenage dome she is sent to live with a female relative whose husband impregnates her. Instead, of taking responsibility for her he “sent her home quietly” (116). Most women would of sulked if put in such a precarious situation but she did not and came home “looking like a ram from the north” (116). Auntie Araba’s strength shined through and the way she handled herself illuminated how great she truly was as I can only imagine how traumatizing it would have been if a man practically twice my age would have taken advantage of me, impregnated me, and then simply thrown me away as if I were trash. However, Auntie Araba did not let that awful experience bring her down ,instead, she pulled herself together and quickly went to work to provide for herself and infant son as she “fried or baked” herself out of poverty (117). Through it all, she never once needed a man to help her.
Therefore, it is simply mystifying how she never found happiness through what she accomplished and persevered and in not doing so she committed her ultimate mistake. Auntie Araba thought that the only way she could be seen as a person of worth and value was by the accomplishments of the men in her life. She continually tried to look for happiness through her one and only son but he was a spoiled unappreciative kid who consistently let her down. Ever since he was a child he was a very difficult person to deal with and never once did he give his mother a break often leaving her cleaning up his mess “he left his mother with big debts to pay from his high living” (119). Even though he did all this Auntie Araba was blinded by her love for him and her absolute need to see him accomplish great things. She refused to see his true colors.
Consequently, by relying on her son to give her back her worth she was setting herself up for the worst type of failure. He was never one to rely on but what he did to her ruined her in the worst way. Chicha Atu, her son, had a relationship with a very respectable girl named Mansa who became pregnant with his child. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, Chicha Atu, had his mother take care of the situation. Therefore, Auntie Araba had Mansa and her son move in with her, under the agreement that they would only do so until Chicha Atu finished his education (121). Although, Auntie Araba took Mansa in because she was able to empathize with Mansa’s struggle, she also took her in the hopes that this would give her son the needed time to accomplish what he wanted to achieve and to keep his respectability. However, Chicha Atu did not follow through and when the time came to take his son and take Mansa as his wife he, “could not marry Mansa because he had got another girl in trouble” (124). Chicha Atu knew the pain his mother endured when his biological father had abandoned her, yet he still chose a path that led him to abandon a woman who was much like his mother. Due to Chicha Atu’s abandonment of Mansa, Auntie Araba was shamed in front of her whole community. This immense embarrassment would have not happened if she would’ve just seen how amazing it was to have basically raised a child on her own and built a life for herself by her own two hands. Unfortunately, she took on her son’s shameful actions as a fault of her own and “she never became herself again” (125). It was so embedded in her that she should find her worth in men by Chicha Atu failing her in front of the whole community she was instantly broken, and unable to continue with life.
Like Auntie Araba in “No Sweetness Here,” Maami Ama has a very special relationship with her son. She adored him above all else as he was more than just a son but a companion. In “ No Sweetness Here” Maami Ama is in a horrendous marriage as her husband does not financially support her and has mistreated her ever since her son was only two, “ Kodjo Fi reduced my housekeeping money and sometimes he refused to give me anything at all” (61). Therefore, Maami Ama had to find a way to survive all on her own which she did.
In addition, Maami Ama was not the type of woman to just let herself be mistreated. Although, initially she had a lot of patience with the situation the patience did not come from her but from the older generation of women who advised her that, “in marriage, a woman must sometimes be a fool” (61). However, Maami Ama did not see the need to be a fool as she had for many years supported herself and son. Although, the years were immensely difficult she did not see that she deserved the constant mistreatment her husband gave her and chose to divorce him (60). Her action illuminated the fact that she was an independent woman who knew what she was worth. However, her society did not deem her actions favorable. When the divorce proceedings took place Kodjo Fi was seen as the victim he got everything from her including her son (68-69). To Maami Ama her son was the world to do this to her was to basically break her spirit. Therefore, in this society women know that if they leave their husbands or try to break free from the patriarchal structure that there is the possibility that they might lose their children. What women would be strong enough to go through such a hardship? Therefore, even if a woman is capable of being independent society finds a way to deter them from being so.
Like Maami Ama, in “Everything Counts” Sissie is an independent spirit. “Everything Counts” follows her journey of realizing the great lengths women go to in order to please the men in their lives. Initially, Sissie does not mind what men say in regards to her constant usage of her wig and claims that they criticize her in such ways because it is easier for men, “ to talk about the beauty of being oneself” (1). She wears the wig because she wants to and does not pay much attention to how others interpret her usage of it. In addition, she sees that most of the people who are criticizing her are men, and simply dismisses their criticisms as something men do because they feel it is their right to do so.
Unfortunately, though her arguments for not accepting the criticisms about her wig are valid, she lives in a patriarchal society and as much as she attempts to ignore what men say or want, what they say goes. Sissie’s initial nonchalant attitude comes back to haunt her as one day the wig usage just overwhelms her, “From the air-stewardesses to the grade-three typists in the offices, every girl simply wore a wig” (3). When Sissie wore her wig she made the excuse that she wore it because it made getting ready everyday a lot easier. She had not really ever put much thought into what it represented. It was not until later that she saw it represented the amount of influence a man’s desires had on the appearance of women. The men in her society were constantly flying over to Europe and were so enamored by it that in turn women were now dressing and wearing wigs that reflected the European way. Therefore, in a patriarchal society women cannot even be indifferent about their wardrobe without some sort of repercussion. Unfortunately, they have to be wary about every single thing for they do not have the freedom to do things just because they like it. However, Sissie does not realize this until it is too late and is so repulsed at the fact that, “ She hurried home and into the bathroom where she vomited and cried and cried and vomited for what seemed to her to be days” (7). Sissie feels such repulsion because she sees that due to the fact that she is a woman she has to change her entire perception of beauty just so that she has a chance of keeping her man, of surviving.
In order for women to lead happy and successful lives, the patriarchal structure has to be destroyed. Women cannot reach their fullest potential with society constantly telling them who they have to be and the certain rules they have to follow. In addition, what makes matters worse is that men are not held to same standards and are allowed to do whatever they want. This set up make it so women are subservient to them and forever trapped. In order for women to become equal to men either society has to hold men to the same standards they hold women to, or the rules in general have to be destroyed. Women cannot be who they want to be or lead the lives they really want with such oppressive rules.
Work Cited
Aidoo, Ama. No Sweetness Here and Other Stories. New York: The Feminist Press,
1995. Print.
Cornwall, Andrea. “Spending Power: Love, Money, and the Reconfiguration of Gender
Relation in Ado-Odo, South Western Nigeria” American Ethnologist 29/4 (2002):
963-980. JSTOR. Web 30 Nov. 2010.
Sharp, Joanne. “Doing Gender and Development: Understanding Empowerment and
Local Gender Relations” Transactions of the Institute of British Geographers 28/3 (2003): 281-295. JSTOR. Web 30 Nov. 2010.
